I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
