Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Your dad touched me again.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
