I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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