tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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