its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Im part way to drunk.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
