Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize