Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
