I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
