there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
