I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
