That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
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i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
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She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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