he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
