You work out of a Hotel?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
this must be what syphilis tastes like
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
