So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
