PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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