Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
