They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
