Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
