This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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