Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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