i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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