Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
