I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
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Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
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I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.