I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
