Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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