I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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