WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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