i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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