i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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