The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
