we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
