I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
