is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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