It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
