i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize