Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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