He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
