exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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