its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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