When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
