good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
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It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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