Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she peed on how many people?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
