Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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