you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
