The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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