and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
