i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
