You're so nebulous sometimes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
