For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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