it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
