so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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