No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
