After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
