at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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