Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
