I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
