I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize